Spider-Man displays some rather unhero-like behavior at the Orlando Airport.

SUBMITTED BY: Mark and Ari Z. LOCATION: Florida (2010)

For those of us who grew up with The Electric Company version of Spider-Man, this scene is particularly disturbing.

Spider-Man is supposed to save the world and correct harmful spelling mistakes. He is not the classless kind of guy who violates the nasal passages of innocent bystanders.

Then again, based on the endless abuse inflicted by tourists, maybe it’s time that the statues fight back!

SUBMITTED BY: Ankura Singh, Andy Odgren, Debra Cohen

LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (2010)

Some tourists make trick photography — in this case the “forced perspective” illusion of holding an object — look really easy.  Take a look at the amazing poise and finesse displayed by this casual cliffwalker in Zion National Park and these architecture buffs at the Eiffel Tower.

But some tourists, such as Ankura, Andy and Debra, are still getting the hang of it.

In case there are ANY doubts how the above attempt at a Tacky Tourist Photo came out, take a look:

In any case, we appreciate the effort and encourage the gang to dust themselves off, pick themselves up and try again next time.

Tacky Tourist Photography is a talent that takes a lifetime to perfect. But there is room under the TTP tent for everyone.  Please visit our Submission Page and send us your favorite snapshots!

(Ankura Singh, Andy Odgren, and Debra Cohen are old college buddies from McGill University. They reunite for a Disney vacation every year).

Sarasota Jungle Gardens, one of America's oldest zoos

SUBMITTED BY: Ari Zackin   LOCATION: Sarasota, Florida (2010)

Contrary to popular belief, a concrete tiger will never hurt you — as long as you leave it alone.

(Ari Zackin and his father Mark blog about their travels at http://zackinfamily.wordpress.com )

Nutrition Tip: Eating whole fruit instead of drinking fruit juice is a much better source of natural fiber.

SUBMITTED BY: Kerry Byrne LOCATION: Florida (2010)

Move over, Jenny Craig.

Football guru Kerry Byrne has developed a fool-proof diet plan.

“If you want to look like you’ve lost weight, stand next to something much larger and rounder than you,” he says. “Voila! I don’t look a pound over 250 anymore.”

Keep your eye on where dieting role models Valerie Bertinelli and Jason “George Constanza” Alexander are photographed over the next few weeks.

(Carnivore Kerry Byrne is the founder, chief pundit and editor of Cold Hard Football Facts, the premiere gridiron thinktank on the planet. His wife is not a fan of roadside kitsch and refused to take this photograph. Thank you, Indian River lady!)

As Winnie the Pooh demonstrates, Disney World is the Land of Milk and Honey

SUBMITTED BY: Greg Constantine   LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (2009)

Having absolutely no fear of public drinking fountains, holding subway poles or sticking his tongue on supermarket carts, Greg eagerly awaits his first taste of germ-covered pretend honey.

H1N1 virus be damned!

(Filmmaker Greg Constantine, founder and CEO of Galaxy Editing, refuses to vacation at destinations NOT operated by Disney).

Getting in the right frame of mind to watch the Daytona 500

SUBMITTED BY: Laura, a.k.a. “The Wander Woman”  LOCATION: Daytona, Florida (2009)

Awwwwwww, isn’t he SIMPLY ADORABLE?

The Daytona 500 has no shortage of drunks, to be sure, but how many members of NASCAR nation go the extra mile to coordinate their wardrobe with their beverage?  Does he have cute little matching Jack Daniels socks, too?

And gotta love the wine-in-the-box-outta-the-box.  Very classy.

Laura says her only regret about this photo is that she did not get a shot of this gentleman’s checkered flag pants.  He explained “when they fly off, you’re reached the finish line!”  Seriously.

(The Wander Woman offers an irreverent recap of her “adventures on the road less traveled.”)

Just for yuks, teach your kids about the death penalty during your next trip to the arcade!

SUBMITTED BY: Tacky Tourist Photos        LOCATION: Kissimmee, Florida

For a mere 25 cents, you can get strapped into a pretend electric chair and “experience” what it’s like to get a small current zapped through your body. This “Hot Seat” amusement ride was inside an arcade at Olde Town, kind of a cheap man’s Disney about 10 miles outside of the Magic Kingdom.

In case you are curious, there was no lethal injection game anywhere in sight.

This make-believe Death Row location is perfect if you want your last meal to be cotton candy and fried dough (with an overdose of confectionery sugar, of course).

If the manufacturer were smart, they’d skip the amusement park market and go for the slam dunk at every fraternity house in America.

(CURATOR’S NOTE: For sentimental traditionalists, there is also a rustic wooden electric chair arcade game.)

Courteous disclaimer suggesting that pregnant women avoid the electric chair