The Jurassic Park ride at the Universal Orlando Resort.

SUBMITTED BY: Allison Scott    LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (2012)

Allison’s father, David, looks more like he is mocking the facial expressions of the T-Rex than he is acting terrified.

(David Meerman Scott is the author of “The New Rules of Marketing & PR.”)

The "Unconditional Surrender" statue commemorates the end of World War II. (Click pic to learn how you can submit your kiss to be immortalized here).

SUBMITTED BY: Mark Z.   LOCATION: Sarasota, Florida (2011)

The guy who made the Marilyn Monroe statue in Chicago apparently specializes in providing opportunities to look up the skirts of fiberglass Amazonian women.

But Mark’s parents are a lot classier. They preferred to re-enact the famous spontaneous kiss between a sailor and a nurse in Times Square.

Turns out that this J. Seward Johnson sculpture is controversial, too.

(Learn the story of Edith Shain, the real nurse in the kiss photo made famous by Life Magazine’s Alfred Eisenstaedt.)

Prancing around at the Magic Kingdom (Click here to learn how to submit your favorite Disney World poses!)

SUBMITTED BY: Noelle Boc and Isabelle    LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (2011)

Just like Buzz Lightyear’s muscle flexing sessions, Peter Pan teaches Walt Disney World visitors how to be confident and sassy. The key is making a fist as you put your hands on your hips and stick your chest out. Captain Hook would be very intimidated.

(Noelle Boc is a children’s librarian/rock musician who writes kids’ book reviews and is a parenting correspondent for Dad Does.)

Mousejunkies cult leader Bill Burke yuks it up with a sinister Gamorrean Guard at Disney's Hollywood Studios.

SUBMITTED BY: Bill Burke   LOCATION: Lake Buena Vista, Florida (2011)

According to the Wookieepedia, the Gamorreans were “porcine humanoids from the lush jungle Outer Rim planet of Gamorr, where their technological level was equivalent to lower technology periods that human civilizations experienced more than 25,000 years before the battle of Yavin.”

The piglike militants “also colonized the planet Pzob in the K749 system and were the majority sentient species on Lanthrym in the Elrood sector.”

If either of those historical factoids from “Return of the Jedi” mean ANYTHING to you, then you probably wished you were with Bill at the grand opening of the “Star Tours” attraction last month at Disney’s Hollywood Studios in Florida.

“When my friend went to take the picture I was holding a beer,” Bill reveals. “The character shook its head, held its hand up and motioned for me to put it down. It could not be in the picture.”

“Even when the characters are supposed to be evil, they’re still very concerned about public images. I’m sure they were instructed to do this,” he adds.

Bill, aka “The Travel Guy” for the Boston Herald, also accurately notes that he is more physically menacing than this Gamorrean warrior — even without wearing an ounce of armor!

For the benefit of TTP readers who are also Star Wars geeks, the weapon in the photo is called an Arg’garok, a large axe designed for creatures with extraordinary upper body strength and a low center of gravity.

Also, take a closer look at the picture. To the left of Bill’s ear, there is a guide in a plaid vest. To the right of him, is a guy in a football jersey and black cowboy hat.  Inside sources tell us that cowboy guy is Dave Filoni, acclaimed director of “The Clone Wars.”

(Bill Burke is author of “Mousejunkies!: Tips, Tales and Tricks for a Disney World Fix.”)

Why have the stockades disappeared from Disney theme parks?

SUBMITTED BY: Stacy G.      LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (1976)

Any loving sister would want to lift you up for the full torture experience.

If only the Puritans knew that their preferred method of torture and humiliation would become a favorite amusement park photo-op centuries later.

(Tacky Tourist Photos would love to receive so-called “vintage” travel photos from your childhood, like these Disney pics or this other stockade gem from Williamsburg, Virginia. Click here for our extremely user-friendly submission process!)

UPDATE: We’re not afraid to admit when we make a mistake. We just learned from an authoritative source who returned from Disney World last week that these stockades are now in Liberty Square, near the steamboat.

The militarization of Disney World begins!

SUBMITTED BY: Ari Zackin      LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (2006)

It’s wonderful for Disney to take a pro-military stand!

Remember when we played with these Little Green Army Men as kids, tossing pebbles at their helpless platoons?

Believe it or not, these toys are now “controversial.”

Thanks for sticking up for the troops, Pixar!

(The Zackin family of Connecticut never misses a funny vacation photo-op. Ari Z. last delighted us with his camel drool shower.)

Spider-Man displays some rather unhero-like behavior at the Orlando Airport.

SUBMITTED BY: Mark and Ari Z. LOCATION: Florida (2010)

For those of us who grew up with The Electric Company version of Spider-Man, this scene is particularly disturbing.

Spider-Man is supposed to save the world and correct harmful spelling mistakes. He is not the classless kind of guy who violates the nasal passages of innocent bystanders.

Then again, based on the endless abuse inflicted by tourists, maybe it’s time that the statues fight back!

SUBMITTED BY: Ankura Singh, Andy Odgren, Debra Cohen

LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (2010)

Some tourists make trick photography — in this case the “forced perspective” illusion of holding an object — look really easy.  Take a look at the amazing poise and finesse displayed by this casual cliffwalker in Zion National Park and these architecture buffs at the Eiffel Tower.

But some tourists, such as Ankura, Andy and Debra, are still getting the hang of it.

In case there are ANY doubts how the above attempt at a Tacky Tourist Photo came out, take a look:

In any case, we appreciate the effort and encourage the gang to dust themselves off, pick themselves up and try again next time.

Tacky Tourist Photography is a talent that takes a lifetime to perfect. But there is room under the TTP tent for everyone.  Please visit our Submission Page and send us your favorite snapshots!

(Ankura Singh, Andy Odgren, and Debra Cohen are old college buddies from McGill University. They reunite for a Disney vacation every year).

Sarasota Jungle Gardens, one of America's oldest zoos

SUBMITTED BY: Ari Zackin   LOCATION: Sarasota, Florida (2010)

Contrary to popular belief, a concrete tiger will never hurt you — as long as you leave it alone.

(Ari Zackin and his father Mark blog about their travels at http://zackinfamily.wordpress.com )

Nutrition Tip: Eating whole fruit instead of drinking fruit juice is a much better source of natural fiber.

SUBMITTED BY: Kerry Byrne LOCATION: Florida (2010)

Move over, Jenny Craig.

Football guru Kerry Byrne has developed a fool-proof diet plan.

“If you want to look like you’ve lost weight, stand next to something much larger and rounder than you,” he says. “Voila! I don’t look a pound over 250 anymore.”

Keep your eye on where dieting role models Valerie Bertinelli and Jason “George Constanza” Alexander are photographed over the next few weeks.

(Carnivore Kerry Byrne is the founder, chief pundit and editor of Cold Hard Football Facts, the premiere gridiron thinktank on the planet. His wife is not a fan of roadside kitsch and refused to take this photograph. Thank you, Indian River lady!)