Attack of the inflatable lobsters!

SUBMITTED BY: The Heater Family   LOCATION: Kensington, PEI (2011)

If there were such a thing as lobster filmmakers, there would be plenty of human-themed horror movies. We pluck these creatures from their homes, boil them alive and then suck out their insides.

At the Prince Edward Island Lobster Festival, it was time for a little revenge.  Young Alex seems resigned to his fate, putting up little struggle.

(Jennifer Howard Heater is a frequent contributor to TTP. She “recently” posed as an 1800′s bank robber with her brothers in crime.)

Prince William and Princess Kate cowboy up in Calgary (source: CBC).

Check out today’s CBC headline:

“Prince William says Canada ‘far exceeded’ expectations“

Translation: “I thought this place was going to be kinda lame.”

Canada can do far better for a celebrity tourist endorsement.

Meanwhile, Prince William and Princess Kate Middleton each received a ceremonial white cowboy hat upon entering the city of Calgary — a tradition for visiting dignitaries.  Other celebrities asked to play dress-up have included President George Herbert Walker Bush, William Shatner and the Dalai Lama.

Princess Kate Middleton meets Anne of Green Gables on Prince Edward Island (Source: Associated Press)

According to the CBC, Kate Middleton revealed herself to be a huge fan of Canadian folk hero Anne of Green Gables during the royal vacation to Prince Edward Island.

But how big of a fan could she possibly be?

If Princess Kate were truly die-hard, she would have picked up one of the braided hats that are sold at virtually every PEI souvenir shop.

Or she would have fully immersed herself in the character at the Cavendish Figurine costume booth at the Confederation Bridge like these two Japanese fans.

Maybe next time, Kate.

Ari is the Atlas of the Produce World.

SUBMITTED BY: Ari G.   LOCATION: O’Leary, Prince Edward Island (Canada — 2009)

It’s only a matter of time before this courageous kid’s triceps give out and he gets crushed by the potato!

The World’s Largest Potato is at the Potato Museum in Western PEI. It is far superior to any Idaho or Maine potato exhibits, a fact that Americans should be ashamed of.

The PEI Potato Museum sells burlap sacks in the gift shop and potato candy at the snack bar.

The fiberglass potato, generously funded by the O’Leary Chamber of Commerce, also provides the classic “holding the giant thing” pose.

This cute Canadian couple tries to line up the perfect Tacky Tourist Photo at the World's Largest Potato.

(If you can’t get enough of spuds memorabilia, check out how the PEI Potato Museum cleverly displays potato diseases. Cute little coffins are involved!)

The family that dresses up together, stays together.

SUBMITTED BY: Alyssa Jamal   LOCATION: Prince Edward Island (2009)

The “Anne of Green Gables” series might have turned out dramatically different if author Lucy Maud Montgomery were into science fiction.

As an aside, this costume booth may be the only one in the tourist world that doesn’t try to squeeze your wallet dry!

(Alyssa Jamal is an Ontario teenager who loves family vacations and seeing her little brother carry a purse.)

One of the strengths of "The Simpsons" is its phenomenal supporting cast. We're disappointed that this Nova Scotian lawn does not pay tribute to Apu the Kwikie Mart owner, Troy McClure the infomercial king, or even Police Chief Wiggum!

SUBMITTED BY: Robert Warner   LOCATION: Cape Breton, Nova Scotia (2009)

Nothing brightens up a Canadian roadtrip adventure more than seeing American cultural imperialism smiling from the natives’ lawns.

Chances of an adult woman living in this house: ZERO. Otherwise this guy’s Simpsons fetish would be channeled through a few figurines in the recreation room or basement.

We love the cash box on the lawn asking for public funding.

And why is Milhouse (creepy kid with glasses on left) appearing to do the happy Peanuts/Snoopy dance?

EXCLUSIVE LANDSCAPING ADVICE FROM A REAL-LIFE SIMPSONS ARTIST!

John Krause, the prop design lead artist for “The Simpsons Movie,” is the guy who draws Lisa’s saxophone, Homer Simpson’s frosted donuts, Reverend Lovejoy’s Bible and virtually every product on the shelves of Springfield’s Kwik-E-Mart.

He also sometimes draws Itchy and Scratchy’s wounded internal organs!

Here’s what he had to say about this Simpsonian landscaping:

“Love it! I wish this guy was my neighbor!!!!

I’d have to tell him (perhaps after a few beers) that I’d like to see the characters interacting more. Everyone seems isolated and alone.”

"Anne of Green Gables" welcomes tourists to Prince Edward Island

SUBMITTED BY: Darren Garnick   LOCATION: Prince Edward Island, Canada (2009)

When I woke up this particular August morning, I had no idea that I later would be skipping around a Canadian village wearing braids and a vintage 1908-style dress.

Ironically, this all happened because I was checking if the Cavendish Figurines souvenir shop (at the Confederation Bridge) would display a Tacky Tourist Photos brochure.

Little did I suspect that the shop specializes in hilarious tourist photos, encouraging women and men of all ages to channel their inner “Anne of Green Gables.”

Sample "Annes" from the Tourist "Wall of Fame"

You can read about this savvy marketing strategy (and find out how often these green dresses are washed) in this Boston Herald business story.

Owners Jeannette Arsenault and Don Maxfield see themselves as Anne ambassadors and charge only $2 for the photo-op, figuring it will draw more customers into their store. It’s a successful gimmick that businesses in any tourist destination could easily emulate.

This statue, “The Spirit of Anne,” inspires many visitors to mimic the “Anne wave.”  Very few tourists pose with the Fonzie thumbs up (AAAAAAYYYYY!)

To my knowledge, I am also the first model to accessorize Anne’s look with Keen sports sandals — absolutely essential in the Prince Edward Island rain.

Next goal for TTP: Head to the “Little House on the Prairie” ranch in Kansas to channel my inner Laura Ingalls!

(Darren Garnick finds himself strangely attracted to green costumes, such as this especially attractive alligator ensemble).

EXCLUSIVE FEEDBACK FROM AN “ANNE” GURU!

Ingrid Lobo, a prominent “Anne of Green Gables” blogger and a moderator for Sullivan Entertainment’s “Anne of Green Gables” Message Boards, weighs in on how I would fare in an Anne lookalike contest:

“You’re the best male Anne I’ve ever seen, though you probably won’t be cast by Kevin Sullivan in any Anne (miniseries) sequels or prequels. It’s clear that you’re a kindred spirit, though you could use a few freckles and some more feminine shoes. You certainly have Anne’s earnest enthusiasm down.”

Thank you, Ingrid!

Nothing turns a guy on more than a baked Idaho potato!

SUBMITTED BY: Darren Garnick    LOCATION: O’Leary, Prince Edward Island (2009)

Home of Canada’s largest artificial potato, the PEI Potato Museum respectfully honors potato pin-up models, potato guns and even Mr. Potato Head.  But perhaps its most meaningful contribution to Canadian culture is its mournful documentation of diseases and pests that are deadly to the potato crop.

Reminiscent of the Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Graveyard, the museum morbidly places potato carcasses in cute little potato coffins!

There are many ways to kill a potato. The Swine Flu (H1N1 virus) is not one of them.

You have to give the museum curators credit. There’s no better way to scare kids about the perils of Bacterial Soft Rot than to present the cold, ugly reality in a spud coffin — which are perfectly sized for serving French fries, by the way.

Potato-munching monsters will inherit the earth. But only if we let them.

Because Tacky Tourist Photos seeks to educate as well as entertain, the potato on the left died from Potato Warts, “a serious and destructive fungus found only in Newfoundland and Labrador where the cool rainy weather favors its development.” These warts, not treatable with Compound W or other conventional means, range in size from a pea to a full potato.

The potato on the right was a victim of the insidious Potato Scab Gnat, which lays its eggs in the soft spots of a spud.  Those eggs become insidious potato-eating maggots.

For the record, the PEI Potato Museum does not serve thickly cut steak fries or any kind of fries, claiming that the oil from the Frialator would damage the antique potato harvesting wagons.

Not to mention the arteries of the scab gnats.

(Coming soon… The Potato Disease Photo Gallery, including Bacterial Soft Rot — only at TackyTouristPhotos.com!)

The Bay of Fundy's Ha Ha Cemetery is no joke

SUBMITTED BY: Darren Garnick               LOCATION: Albert County, New Brunswick, Canada (1995)

Imagine veering off the road in the fog and having your face implanted in a tree near the Ha Ha Cemetery. Plots have to be pretty cheap in New Brunswick. But you’d spend eternity wallowing in the mockery of passing motorists.

(Darren Garnick was once briefly detained by Australian authorities for trying to smuggle turkey jerky into the country.)