An ice cream stand in Woods Hole, the famous Cape Cod oceanographic research community.

SUBMITTED BY: Brian Henderson   LOCATION: Woods Hole, Massachusetts (2010)

We admire Brian’s dedication and overall flexibility. Most contributors would look at the height of the lobster claw and say, “Screw it, my leg doesn’t bend that way!”

(Photojournalist Brian Henderson is one of Tacky Tourist Photo’s most prolific contributors. Check out his enthusiasm about the Equator, his monster-like appetite for bridges and his phenomenal ability to mimic the dance moves of statues!)

SALIVA ART -- Chicago's Crown Fountain at Millennium Park projects the faces of 1,000 ordinary citizens on a LED Screen-plated tower, creating the illusion that they are spouting out water like a statue.

SUBMITTED BY: Beth H. LOCATION: Chicago, Illinois (2010)

Nothing’s classier than modern art that spits in your hand!

Designed by Spanish artist Jaume Plensa, the Crown Fountain is a modern spin on the tradition of using gargoyles and mythological beasts to spout water in fountains.

Bobby Orr now tackles innocent bystanders outside the Boston Garden or whatever they call it these days.

SUBMITTED BY: Kathie Fife LOCATION: Boston, Mass. (2010)

Brace yourself for attack.

Bobby Orr, the Boston Bruins and Hockey Hall of Fame legend known for his “flying goal” to win the 1970 Stanley Cup, is gonna get you.

In real life, Orr is the most charming man on the planet. But if you don’t know the context of this pose, you might think he wants to behead you with his hockey stick.

Kathie is in the duck-and-cover safety position they taught school kids in the 1950s whenever there was an air raid drill.

For all you non-Bostonians and non-hockey fans, here’s the iconic sports moment captured by Boston Herald photographer Ray Lussier:

Bobby Orr channels Superman at the 1970 Stanley Cup in this classic photograph by the Boston Herald's Ray Lussier.

(Photographer and greeting card artist Kathie Fife usually avoids concrete and bronze, specializing in New Hampshire wildlife, history and panoramic natural landscapes).

SPORTS NUT? If you happen to be smitten by Boston sports icons cast in bronze, check out the good-natured harassment of Boston Celtics Hall of Fame coach Red Auerbach — the cigar guy — here and here.

Spider-Man displays some rather unhero-like behavior at the Orlando Airport.

SUBMITTED BY: Mark and Ari Z. LOCATION: Florida (2010)

For those of us who grew up with The Electric Company version of Spider-Man, this scene is particularly disturbing.

Spider-Man is supposed to save the world and correct harmful spelling mistakes. He is not the classless kind of guy who violates the nasal passages of innocent bystanders.

Then again, based on the endless abuse inflicted by tourists, maybe it’s time that the statues fight back!

How do you get a t-shirt on a statue anyway? (Matt Stone/Boston Herald)

Just like Spain’s strategic use of a “sorcerer” to put a hex on World Cup rival Portugal, Celtics fans believe rubbing the bronzed body of legendary coach Red Auerbach will boost their chances against the Lakers.

During the nailbiting NBA Finals, Boston fans have been flocking to the Faneuil Hall tourist trap to summon the spirit of the cigar-smoking Auerbach statue.  Talented photojournalist Matt Stone has documented the phenomenon with a Boston Herald slideshow.

Choking Red Auerbach, the coach who never choked. (Matt Stone/Boston Herald)

Stone has documented the bizarre poses that Celtics fans do with Red, including make-believe strangling and pretending to pick his nose.

Any possibility of giving Hall of Fame coach Red Auerbach his dignity back? (Matt Stone/Boston Herald)

Will stripping away the dignity of the Greatest Basketball Coach in History help out Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett on the court this week?

We don’t know, but we do know this: die-hard Celtics fans have been kissing Red and affectionately picking his nose for years.

U.S. Senator Barack Obama does his best Superman pose after a town hall meeting in Metropolis, Illinois

Barack Obama has millions of friends. Barack Obama has millions of enemies.

We don’t get caught up in domestic political squabbles here at Tacky Tourist Photos, although we do occasionally stick our nose into international affairs.

Bottom line is this.  TTP loves Barack Obama for fulfilling our spirit and mission during this 2006 campaign stop.

We invite him and all former U.S. Presidents still alive to continue this practice and pose with the Red Auerbach statue in Boston, the Anne of Green Gables statue on Prince Edward Island, the chorus line creature on Martha’s Vineyard and the stale Michael Jackson marzipan sculpture in Hungary.

(Thanks to conservative radio talk show host Michael Graham for unearthing this gem on his Natural Truth blog).

Smack in the heart of the Bible Belt Vegas

SUBMITTED BY: Rachel and Steve Moore   LOCATION: Branson, Missouri (2009)

Rachel and her brother Steve weren’t looking for a religious experience when they hit the Hollywood Wax Museum in Branson. Most of the museum met their expectations (Forrest Gump on a bench, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, etc.), but the glowing room with the Pope and organ music seemed “pretty creepy.”

For the record, those are Rachel’s words, not ours.  But she fully stands behind them.

“We decided to seal our fate of going to Hell by making the Last Supper a little gangsta,” Rachel says. “Down with Branson! …I’m pretty sure the hills have eyes there.”

(St. Louis natives Rachel and Steve Moore “love anything that doesn’t take itself too seriously, like Tacky Tourist Photos!”).

Source: Agence France-Presse

Swine Flu is absolutely hilarious until you start choking on your own cough reflex and feel your head incinerate like a furnace.

In the glamorous city of Lviv, Ukraine, a photog from the French AFP news service just captured this authentic Ukrainian woman afraid to breath the fresh Ukrainian air.

Equally afraid is this bronze statue of legendary Austrian writer Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, who gets two snooty points for the “von” AND the hyphen.

Things could be far worse for Mr. von Sacher-Masoch. There could be a tourist picking his nose.

Being widely regarded as the best coach and savviest general manager in NBA history apparently isn't enough to safeguard your dignity.

SUBMITTED BY: Mike Faucher   LOCATION: Boston, Massachusetts (2003)

And you thought the frozen Ted Williams got abused?

The bronzed Red Auerbach, the basketball mastermind who coached the Boston Celtics dynasty in the 1960s and puffed cigar smoke in opponents’ faces, can’t get any respect either.

Says Tacky Tourist Photos model Mike Faucher: “Who says you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your friends’ nose?”

Makes you wonder: How many other tourists dig for bronze mucus — whether from an NBA legend or Revolutionary War hero?

(Mike Faucher is a die-hard Boston Celtics fan who attended the auctioning of the remnants from the Old Boston Garden. He could not afford to bid on Red’s half-smoked, dried saliva-covered cigar).

ALSO SEE: Kissing Up to the Celtics Dynasty: Locking lips with Red Auerbach

SUBMITTED BY: Laura Molta   LOCATION: Madrid, Spain (2009)

There are several deeply troubling aspects to this seemingly innocent tourist photo.

First is the cavalier attitude and body posture of the tourist: LOOK AT ME! I AM LEANING UP AGAINST AN AUTHENTIC BLUE-COLLAR WORKER!

What’s with the casual knee bend?

Second, this alleged tribute to an honest day’s work is a graffiti magnet and city authorities are apparently in no rush to clean up the defamatory scrawls.

Third, take a closer look at the graffiti — SOV SPY — perhaps code for Soviet spy?

Now, we know the Cold War is supposed to be over. But you just never know where those rascally hammer-and-sickle types hid listening devices.

Who was this street sweeper ... really?

(Love Iberian kitsch? Check out the rest of Tacky Tourist Spain Week!)