Caged Bear -- The Boston Ballet Nutcracker mascot mingles with a young fan at an unlikely venue -- Fenway Park. (Click the pic to learn more about the bear's natural habitat).

SUBMITTED BY: Ari G.   LOCATION: Boston, Massachusetts (2011)

A more snooty mascot might have ignored the fans trapped behind home plate at Fenway Park — or at least have pretended not to hear anything through those thick furry ears.

But not the Nutcracker Bear. He (or she) had time to spread some holiday cheer with the masses in addition to mingling with celebrity friends.

Boston Ballet stars get ready for promotional first pitch ceremonies before the Boston Red Sox - Tampa Bay Rays game.

Oh, and hats off to the classy Red Sox usher who lent his sports jacket to the shivering ballerina. Who says that chivalry is dead in Major League Baseball?

The Nutcracker soldier has the craziest hair in Fenway Park since Johnny Damon and Manny Ramirez.

Youngest Red Sox Player in History: Some of the best fan photo-ops are underneath the stands at Fenway Park.

SUBMITTED BY: Ari Garnick  LOCATION: Boston, Massachusetts (2011)

If your fourth grade son were chosen in the Major League Draft, would you insist that he finish his elementary school education?

With the way that John Lackey, Tim Wakefield, John Lester, Josh Beckett and Andrew Miller have been pitching, the Sox desperately need to do some creative scouting.

(Ari Garnick is a prolific TTP contributor who recently devoured the World’s Largest Box of Popcorn).

Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey hams it up with an inflatable bunny at the 2011 World Aquatics Championships in Shanghai.

SUBMITTED BY: Daryl Morey   LOCATION: Shanghai, China (2011)

Our sources have spotted Daryl Morey, general manager of the Houston Rockets, meeting with a giant inflatable rabbit and his alien friend in the Chinese countryside. Given that our source is Daryl Morey, we believe that the reports are accurate.

The creepy bunny with facial hair greets visitors at the 2011 World Aquatics Championships in Shanghai. Turns out that the rabbit is superfluous to the games — the actual mascot is dangling from his arm. Jing Jing, a pair of swimming goggles come alive, is skilled at diving, water polo and synchronized swimming, but is getting nasty reviews from graphic design and marketing experts.

Could Morey be secretly recruiting new mascots overseas?  Doubtful.  He was in China to pay tribute to retiring Rockets legend Yao Ming.  And current fan favorite “Clutch the Rockets Bear,” a member of the Mascot Hall of Fame, remains as popular as ever.

Lest there be any doubts about Clutch’s immediate future, he is scheduled to be the keynote speaker at Clutch’s Fantasy Mascot Camp next weekend AND is still booking gigs for corporate meetings, high school basketball games and middle school pep rallies.

The soulless rabbit (or bodyless goggles) pose no threat to him.

(Daryl Morey is the general manager of the Houston Rockets and boss of Clutch the Bear, whom you can friend on Facebook.)

MORE NBA NEWS FROM TACKY TOURIST PHOTOS…

* Shaq to Fans: “I’ll pose for a Tacky Tourist Photo!”
* Kissing Up to the Celtics Dynasty – Locking Lips with Red Auerbach.
* Larry Bird: Do I look fat in these basketball shorts?

DON'T FEED THE BIRDS: Have YOU tried the Larry Bird Diet?

SUBMITTED BY: Cosmo Macero Jr.   LOCATION: Springfield, Mass. (2011)

There’s no pleasant way to say this, but the Basketball Hall of Fame has immortalized Boston Celtics legend Larry Bird as an anorexic.

It wasn’t Mahatma Gandhi who fought for Celtics Pride against the oppressive Dr. J and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. It wasn’t Nicole Richie who teamed up with Robert Parish and Kevin McHale to reclaim Boston’s role as an NBA dynasty in the 1980s.

So why would the HOF sign off on this sculpture?   We don’t know.  But if you’re ever commissioning a sculpture of yourself and don’t want your tush to look too big, it’s now obvious who to hire.

(Cosmo Macero Jr. is a die-hard Celtics fan and a “Heavy Hitter” commentator on the Fox-25 Morning News.)

Decapitation at Camden Yards?

SUBMITTED BY: Eliza Truitt    LOCATION: Baltimore, Maryland (2011)

Or to be more accurate, a woman-eating bird…

Why is the Baltimore Oriole about to bite off the head off this innocent baseball fan?

Maybe because she was outed as a die-hard Mariners fan!

(Eliza Truitt is an enterprising wedding photographer who has been stalking Bigfoot with her husband, Steve Mandich, the unofficial historian of the defunct Seattle Pilots).

Baseball Hall of Famer Luis Aparicio gets a little frisky outside U.S. Cellular Field, a.k.a. "The Cell," a.k.a. New Comiskey Park, before a White Sox game.

SUBMITTED BY: Diane Garnick LOCATION: Chicago, Illinois (2010)

Luis Aparicio’s Hall of Fame plaque mentions his 1956 Rookie of the Year Award, his nine Gold Gloves at shortstop, his nine stolen base crowns and his career fielding records for double plays and assists.

But it says nothing about his love for the ladies.  By the way, Diane’s shirt reads: “Real women don’t date Yankees fans.”

(Diane Garnick, the “Princess of Perseverance,”  is a Sox-loving — Bosox and Chisox — investment strategist and author of the upcoming career advice book “I’m Smarter Than My Boss. Now What?” You can follow her travel hijinks on her Facebook page).

Check out these other fun TTP poses at famous sports statues:

Bobby Orr: NHL hockey legends falling from the sky!
Kirby Puckett: Roly Poly Bronzed Enthusiasm.
Tiger Woods: Before he got caught.
Shaq O’Neal: The Human Statue.
Red Auerbach: A new definition of the basketball pick.

Boston Celtics star Shaquille O'Neal has promised to pose as a statue for fans, a la the bronzed Red Auerbach

Why wait until you’re dead to let fans climb all over your likeness?

According to the Boston Herald, basketball lovers will soon have a chance to pose with Shaq while he pretends to be a statue in Harvard Square. The groundrules: No talking, no autographs, just snapshots like you’d take with any tourist landmark.

Here’s the scoop:

Shamroq, as he would now like to be called, told 98.5 The Sports Hub’s Toucher and Rich yesterday that he’ll tweet the deets soon. But remember, there’s “no conversation.” Just sitting and snapping of pics for an hour. And shooing away pigeons, we guess!

“Am I allowed to put my arm around you?” asked Toucher.

“Yes, of course, I’m a statue,” said Shaq.

“Can I put my son in your lap?” inquired Fred.

“Of course,” said the big (patient) one. “I’m a statue.”

We hope that tourists are nicer to Shaq than they are to Red!

Digging for bronze mucus apparently is a turn-on for some people.

Author Doug Mack with Baseball Hall of Fame legend Kirby Puckett.

SUBMITTED BY: Doug Mack   LOCATION: Minneapolis, Minnesota (2010)

Seeing your childhood idol cast in bronze summons all kinds of emotions.

As Doug posed with this statue of Kirby Puckett outside Target Field, a stranger walked by and shouted: “Make your butt look bigger! Then you’ll look exactly like him!”

Hey, Roly Poly Kirby’s butt was good enough to help the Twins win two World Series and play in 10 All-Star Games!

(Doug Mack is a travel writer currently on an ambitious quest to sneer at poet Robert Frost and take the Road Most Traveled through touristy Europe. Read about his latest adventures at his “Europe on Five Bad Ideas a Day” blog.)

Bobby Orr now tackles innocent bystanders outside the Boston Garden or whatever they call it these days.

SUBMITTED BY: Kathie Fife LOCATION: Boston, Mass. (2010)

Brace yourself for attack.

Bobby Orr, the Boston Bruins and Hockey Hall of Fame legend known for his “flying goal” to win the 1970 Stanley Cup, is gonna get you.

In real life, Orr is the most charming man on the planet. But if you don’t know the context of this pose, you might think he wants to behead you with his hockey stick.

Kathie is in the duck-and-cover safety position they taught school kids in the 1950s whenever there was an air raid drill.

For all you non-Bostonians and non-hockey fans, here’s the iconic sports moment captured by Boston Herald photographer Ray Lussier:

Bobby Orr channels Superman at the 1970 Stanley Cup in this classic photograph by the Boston Herald's Ray Lussier.

(Photographer and greeting card artist Kathie Fife usually avoids concrete and bronze, specializing in New Hampshire wildlife, history and panoramic natural landscapes).

SPORTS NUT? If you happen to be smitten by Boston sports icons cast in bronze, check out the good-natured harassment of Boston Celtics Hall of Fame coach Red Auerbach — the cigar guy — here and here.

Media "coverage" of a Yankees fan who doesn't believe in any. (Source: NY Daily News)

Before you get all judgmental, what do YOU wear for a night out at the ballpark?

Lady Gaga just strategically pulled off the Tacky Tourist Photo of the Decade by not only provocatively posing for 49,220 fans (we looked it up) during Friday’s 7th inning stretch, but also by prancing right past security for some photo-ops in the Yankees clubhouse.

The New York tabloids report that Yankees boss Hal Steinbrenner is pissed that the players were treated to Gaga cleavage after a loss.

Here’s how the New York Post puts it:

“A liquored-up, half-naked Gaga could barely string together coherent sentences as she fawned over several players near the locker room…

“Gaga was wearing an unbuttoned pinstripe jersey over her bra and bikini bottom — and nothing else — as she struck up conversations with some of the Bronx Bombers. She gushed about what a Yankee fan she is, all while groping her breasts during the cringe-inducing visit.”

Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle are probably kicking themselves in heaven right now for being born too early.

Yankee Stadium is one of New York’s top tourist attractions and like it or not, Lady Gaga has set the new standard of dress code.

“There is a time and a place for that, and it’s certainly not after a loss,” Yankees GM Brian Cashman told the Post, “And not at the expense of the media doing their job.”

Definitely bring on the fishnets after the Yanks win, though!

Unfortunately, Gaga doesn’t seem to have same reverence for her fellow baseball fans as she does for the players. Noting she recently gave fans the middle finger at the Mets Citi Field, the NY Post has dubbed her the “Classless Songbird.”

Here’s a sneak peak of what Lady Gaga might look like in 50 years:

Lady Gaga in the Future