Were you expecting a docile UCLA Bruin?

SUBMITTED BY: Ben Cole   LOCATION: Los Angeles, California (2012)

Since 1984, UCLA athletes have won more gold medals at the Olympic Games than all but four countries.

And this Bruins mascot has bitten more tourists than all other bear statues in America combined.

We made up that last statistic, but the Olympics thing is true.

Kudos to Ben for his improvisational acting skills!

(Ben Cole is a transplanted New England sports fan living in Colorado).

Just another naked day in Times Square....

SUBMITTED BY: Erik Paulsen   LOCATION: Times Square, New York City (2012)

When posing for a Tacky Tourist Photo, it is usually customary to embrace the quirky statue or mascot as if you are best friends.

Yet, there is something rather skeevy about getting intimate with a Naked Cowboy you just met.

Enter the brilliance of Erik, who pensively looks to the heavens, so immersed in thought that he almost doesn’t even notice the scantily-clad gent in front of the Marriott.  There’s now a proven method to pose with people when getting too close would be embarrassing or downright unhygienic.

On a side note, TTP has been at the forefront of insightful Naked Cowboy coverage rivaling the New York Post, the NY Daily News and Gawker. We’ve faithfully covered the Naked Cowboy for President campaign, the legal battle with the Naked Cowgirl and her common bond with Lady Gaga.

We’re depending on Erik to covertly capture the next chapter.

(Erik Paulsen, not to be confused with the Minnesota Congressman, is a sports video editor and photojournalist who has covered the Stanley Cup and the Tour de France. He also is a militant vegan.)

Caged Bear -- The Boston Ballet Nutcracker mascot mingles with a young fan at an unlikely venue -- Fenway Park. (Click the pic to learn more about the bear's natural habitat).

SUBMITTED BY: Ari G.   LOCATION: Boston, Massachusetts (2011)

A more snooty mascot might have ignored the fans trapped behind home plate at Fenway Park — or at least have pretended not to hear anything through those thick furry ears.

But not the Nutcracker Bear. He (or she) had time to spread some holiday cheer with the masses in addition to mingling with celebrity friends.

Boston Ballet stars get ready for promotional first pitch ceremonies before the Boston Red Sox - Tampa Bay Rays game.

Oh, and hats off to the classy Red Sox usher who lent his sports jacket to the shivering ballerina. Who says that chivalry is dead in Major League Baseball?

The Nutcracker soldier has the craziest hair in Fenway Park since Johnny Damon and Manny Ramirez.

Prancing around at the Magic Kingdom (Click here to learn how to submit your favorite Disney World poses!)

SUBMITTED BY: Noelle Boc and Isabelle    LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (2011)

Just like Buzz Lightyear’s muscle flexing sessions, Peter Pan teaches Walt Disney World visitors how to be confident and sassy. The key is making a fist as you put your hands on your hips and stick your chest out. Captain Hook would be very intimidated.

(Noelle Boc is a children’s librarian/rock musician who writes kids’ book reviews and is a parenting correspondent for Dad Does.)

Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey hams it up with an inflatable bunny at the 2011 World Aquatics Championships in Shanghai.

SUBMITTED BY: Daryl Morey   LOCATION: Shanghai, China (2011)

Our sources have spotted Daryl Morey, general manager of the Houston Rockets, meeting with a giant inflatable rabbit and his alien friend in the Chinese countryside. Given that our source is Daryl Morey, we believe that the reports are accurate.

The creepy bunny with facial hair greets visitors at the 2011 World Aquatics Championships in Shanghai. Turns out that the rabbit is superfluous to the games — the actual mascot is dangling from his arm. Jing Jing, a pair of swimming goggles come alive, is skilled at diving, water polo and synchronized swimming, but is getting nasty reviews from graphic design and marketing experts.

Could Morey be secretly recruiting new mascots overseas?  Doubtful.  He was in China to pay tribute to retiring Rockets legend Yao Ming.  And current fan favorite “Clutch the Rockets Bear,” a member of the Mascot Hall of Fame, remains as popular as ever.

Lest there be any doubts about Clutch’s immediate future, he is scheduled to be the keynote speaker at Clutch’s Fantasy Mascot Camp next weekend AND is still booking gigs for corporate meetings, high school basketball games and middle school pep rallies.

The soulless rabbit (or bodyless goggles) pose no threat to him.

(Daryl Morey is the general manager of the Houston Rockets and boss of Clutch the Bear, whom you can friend on Facebook.)

MORE NBA NEWS FROM TACKY TOURIST PHOTOS…

* Shaq to Fans: “I’ll pose for a Tacky Tourist Photo!”
* Kissing Up to the Celtics Dynasty – Locking Lips with Red Auerbach.
* Larry Bird: Do I look fat in these basketball shorts?

Ever see an Armadillo with Texas longhorns?

SUBMITTED BY: Brian Henderson   LOCATION: Houston, Texas (2011)

The shiny mascot of Goode’s Armadillo Palace — a local BBQ and music joint — looks sweet and innocent by day. But after nightfall, it turns evil. Be forewarned!

The eyes really glow -- this is not the "red-eye" effect from bad flash photography!

(Brian Henderson is a photojournalist with an appetite as huge as the Golden Gate Bridge.)

Mousejunkies cult leader Bill Burke yuks it up with a sinister Gamorrean Guard at Disney's Hollywood Studios.

SUBMITTED BY: Bill Burke   LOCATION: Lake Buena Vista, Florida (2011)

According to the Wookieepedia, the Gamorreans were “porcine humanoids from the lush jungle Outer Rim planet of Gamorr, where their technological level was equivalent to lower technology periods that human civilizations experienced more than 25,000 years before the battle of Yavin.”

The piglike militants “also colonized the planet Pzob in the K749 system and were the majority sentient species on Lanthrym in the Elrood sector.”

If either of those historical factoids from “Return of the Jedi” mean ANYTHING to you, then you probably wished you were with Bill at the grand opening of the “Star Tours” attraction last month at Disney’s Hollywood Studios in Florida.

“When my friend went to take the picture I was holding a beer,” Bill reveals. “The character shook its head, held its hand up and motioned for me to put it down. It could not be in the picture.”

“Even when the characters are supposed to be evil, they’re still very concerned about public images. I’m sure they were instructed to do this,” he adds.

Bill, aka “The Travel Guy” for the Boston Herald, also accurately notes that he is more physically menacing than this Gamorrean warrior — even without wearing an ounce of armor!

For the benefit of TTP readers who are also Star Wars geeks, the weapon in the photo is called an Arg’garok, a large axe designed for creatures with extraordinary upper body strength and a low center of gravity.

Also, take a closer look at the picture. To the left of Bill’s ear, there is a guide in a plaid vest. To the right of him, is a guy in a football jersey and black cowboy hat.  Inside sources tell us that cowboy guy is Dave Filoni, acclaimed director of “The Clone Wars.”

(Bill Burke is author of “Mousejunkies!: Tips, Tales and Tricks for a Disney World Fix.”)

Decapitation at Camden Yards?

SUBMITTED BY: Eliza Truitt    LOCATION: Baltimore, Maryland (2011)

Or to be more accurate, a woman-eating bird…

Why is the Baltimore Oriole about to bite off the head off this innocent baseball fan?

Maybe because she was outed as a die-hard Mariners fan!

(Eliza Truitt is an enterprising wedding photographer who has been stalking Bigfoot with her husband, Steve Mandich, the unofficial historian of the defunct Seattle Pilots).

As Winnie the Pooh demonstrates, Disney World is the Land of Milk and Honey

SUBMITTED BY: Greg Constantine   LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (2009)

Having absolutely no fear of public drinking fountains, holding subway poles or sticking his tongue on supermarket carts, Greg eagerly awaits his first taste of germ-covered pretend honey.

H1N1 virus be damned!

(Filmmaker Greg Constantine, founder and CEO of Galaxy Editing, refuses to vacation at destinations NOT operated by Disney).

Quatchi, aka Saquatch or Bigfoot, is one of three mascots for the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver.

SUBMITTED BY: Steve Mandich and Eliza Truitt LOCATION: British Columbia, Canada (2009)

In all the mysterious Bigfoot sightings over the years, no one ever comes back with a sharp, vivid photo.

Until now.

Turns out that Sasquatch, or “Quatchi,” as his closest friends call him, has just been searching the wilderness for an old-fashioned hug.

(Steve Mandich and Eliza Truitt track Bigfoot’s every step, including his frequent socializing with celebrities, at their comprehensive “Quatchi Watch” blog.  Steve also is the survivor of humiliating hazing at the Colonial Williamsburg stockades).