The Tourist Invasion

SUBMITTED BY: Ellie and Michael Mirman   LOCATION: Tel Arshaf (Tel Aviv), Israel (2012)

Tourist sites are equally guilty of romanticizing the Vikings, but these Crusaders seem more likely to want to swap recipes than slit your throats!

For the benefit of our Tacky Tourist history buffs, here’s the scoop on the Crusader fort just outside Tel Aviv:

Click the Salt Mine Commander's nose to be magically transported to the legendary Wieliczka Salt Sculptures more than 1,000 feet below the streets of Krakow, Poland.

SUBMITTED BY: David Meerman Scott  LOCATION: Krakow, Poland (2012)

Salt MINES?  People used to risk their lives for table salt, even though the oceans are filled with the stuff?

Apparently so, and now the Wieliczka Salt Mines, home of an underground Catholic chapel carved out of salt and all-salt sculptures of Pope John Paul II and Leonardo Da Vinci’s “The Last Supper,” is one of Poland’s top tourist attractions.

Whatever you do, don’t lick the walls!

(David Meerman Scott is the author of international bestseller “The New Rules of Marketing & PR” and a sucker for classic dinosaur movies.)

SUBMITTED BY: Tacky Tourist Photos  LOCATION: San Diego, California (2012)

The two biggest draws on the Old Town San Diego Trolley Tour are the free Mormon Battalion Museum and the free bottle of souvenir Hot Sauce.

As you might suspect, free religious literature is also available in unlimited quantities.

WEDDING PICTURE? The Juliette Gordon Low Birthplace and Girl Scout Museum has become a honeymoon hotspot!

(In honor of the Girl Scouts’ 100th anniversary and the recent delivery of three boxes of Thin Mints to Tacky Tourist Photos headquarters, we are rerunning this classic submission from yesteryear.)

SUBMITTED BY: Kris Carlson  LOCATION: Savannah, Georgia (1997)

When Kris Carlson and her husband-to-be Phil were looking for a romantic honeymoon destination, they skipped over the Vegas chapel and Niagara Falls heart-shaped hot tubs and went straight for the National Girl Scout Museum.

Kris is a s’more-loving Brownie leader who just couldn’t resist posing next to GSA founder Juliette Gordon Lowe.

“I’m sure the only reason Phil agreed to participate was because we were on our honeymoon,” she says. “Notice his happy smile. Can’t imagine him letting that photo be taken now!”

We’re impressed by the Teddy Roosevelt Rough Rider fashions that the earliest girl scouts wore. We’d be even more impressed if Phil modeled the modern lime green uniform to surprise Kris on their next wedding anniversary.

Girl Scout founder Juliette Gordon Low and two early disciples hang out in a random wheat field at a secret cookie marketing meeting

(Kris Carlson is the author of “The Sweet Spot,” a young adult novel about teen angst and romance on a family-owned golf course. She’s also written elementary school nonfiction books on Ancient Egyptian Myths and Colonial Army Weaponry. Get a behind-the-scenes glimpse at http://www.krisasselin.blogspot.com/)

Channeling an old fashioned school teacher at the Hillsborough Historical Society's Living History Event.

SUBMITTED BY: Kathie Fife   LOCATION: Hillsborough, NH (2011)

Remember when educators carried rulers and would crack your wrists for chewing gum or misspelling a word?

Well, in addition to shining the silverware of President Franklin Pierce, the Hillsborough Historical Society loves to romanticize mean old school teachers.

(Kathie Fife is a nature photographer and greeting card designer who specializes in New Hampshire scenes.)

Yum, Yum: The Atomic Cake Under Glass

SUBMITTED BY: Debby Greenberg  LOCATION: Los Alamos, New Mexico (2011)

So uranium yellowcake is a key ingredient for developing nuclear weapons, but you’re not supposed to eat it.

That wasn’t the case with this celebratory mushroom cloud cake enjoyed by U.S. military generals after the 1946 nuclear tests at the Bikini Atoll.  A replica of the cake now sits at the Los Alamos Historical Museum in New Mexico, home of the famed Manhattan Project.  

Frosting Fallout: This Pentagon PR stunt was meant to showcase America as a nuclear superpower. No word if the cake was actually served.

Our favorite element of this surreal pop culture moment is the cake decorations, which look like the plastic parts from the Battleship board game.

Museum exhibits like this exist so we can chuckle at the dessert disasters of the past and pledge not to repeat them.

Apparently, the more appropriate way to trivialize nuclear weapons is through alcoholic beverages. Check out this atomic bomb wine stopper currently for sale at the National Museum of Nuclear Science and History gift shop:

(Debby Greenberg is a health care professional who appreciates the roadside attractions that come with business travel).

Gracious Host: George Washington mingles with commoners at his Mount Vernon compound. (Click the pic to find out how YOU can share your favorite tourist history photos!)

SUBMITTED BY: Mark Arsenault and Jennifer Levitz 
LOCATION: Mount Vernon, Virginia (2011)

Barack Obama won’t come greet you when you tour the White House.  Speaker of the House John Boehner won’t give you the time of day when you visit the Capitol.

But George Washington cares about his fans. The Father of Our Country’s PR handlers are also smart enough to make sure he’s never caught drowning his problems in alcohol… like a certain Benjamin Franklin!

The "Unconditional Surrender" statue commemorates the end of World War II. (Click pic to learn how you can submit your kiss to be immortalized here).

SUBMITTED BY: Mark Z.   LOCATION: Sarasota, Florida (2011)

The guy who made the Marilyn Monroe statue in Chicago apparently specializes in providing opportunities to look up the skirts of fiberglass Amazonian women.

But Mark’s parents are a lot classier. They preferred to re-enact the famous spontaneous kiss between a sailor and a nurse in Times Square.

Turns out that this J. Seward Johnson sculpture is controversial, too.

(Learn the story of Edith Shain, the real nurse in the kiss photo made famous by Life Magazine’s Alfred Eisenstaedt.)

Did Steve overdose on the Caerphilly Steak & Cheese? (Click above for visiting information to Wales' most majestic toilet).

SUBMITTED BY: Steve Uzdanovich   LOCATION: Caerphilly, Wales (2011)

Caerphilly Castle is known for its 13th Century military significance, especially its role in preventing South Wales from being invaded by the imperialistic North Wales (actually we have no idea which Welsh were the good guys or the bad guys).

In any case, marble bathroom vanities weren’t a priority for the King.

(Learn more about Medieval Tacky Tourist History at the Connecticut Renaissance Faire).

Getting to know each other at the Pirates of Nassau Museum (Click pic for visiting info)

SUBMITTED BY: Kaeli Conforti   LOCATION: Nassau, Bahamas (2011)

Young women just dig guys in silk ruffled shirts and unscrupulous morals.

But an honest gorilla looking for love? — Forget it!

King Kong fails to impress his date at the Empire State Building. (Madame Tussauds Wax Museum/Manhattan 2011)

(Kaeli Conforti is a New York City travel writer with a weakness for wax museums).