The Jurassic Park ride at the Universal Orlando Resort.

SUBMITTED BY: Allison Scott    LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (2012)

Allison’s father, David, looks more like he is mocking the facial expressions of the T-Rex than he is acting terrified.

(David Meerman Scott is the author of “The New Rules of Marketing & PR.”)

The Praying Mantis subsists on a rich diet of plush animal toys high in fiber and antioxidants.

SUBMITTED BY: George Scully  LOCATION: Winchester, Virginia (2011)

At Dinosaur Land, the most fearsome place in the heart of the Shenandoah Valley, no one is safe. Not even pink little bunnies.

(Fascinated by giant mutant insects?  Check out the Tough Guy Butterfly).

Prancing around at the Magic Kingdom (Click here to learn how to submit your favorite Disney World poses!)

SUBMITTED BY: Noelle Boc and Isabelle    LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (2011)

Just like Buzz Lightyear’s muscle flexing sessions, Peter Pan teaches Walt Disney World visitors how to be confident and sassy. The key is making a fist as you put your hands on your hips and stick your chest out. Captain Hook would be very intimidated.

(Noelle Boc is a children’s librarian/rock musician who writes kids’ book reviews and is a parenting correspondent for Dad Does.)

You don't have to go to Egypt or Las Vegas to see the Sphinx!

SUBMITTED BY: Ari G.  LOCATION: Glen, NH (2011)

New Hampshire, home of Story Land‘s Sphinx, is a helluva lot safer than Cairo right now.

(Ari G. is a frequent Tacky Tourist Photo contributor who has munched the World’s Largest Box of Popcorn and bench pressed the Liberty Bell. His favorite ride is Splash Battle: Pharaoh’s Reign.)

Belting out the classics with Sonny and Cher.

SUBMITTED BY: Gerry Cronin   LOCATION: Canobie Lake Park, Salem, NH (2011)

Sonny & Cher, icons of cheesy 1970s entertainment, would be horrified by how they are being immortalized in a New Hampshire amusement park.

The late Congressman Bono looks like one of those overstuffed pantyhose puppets.

U.S. Rep. Sonny Bono (R-Calif).

And Cher’s hair looks like vinyl siding. No amount of plastic surgery could defame her more.

I Got You Babe? Click on the image to see the full horror.

Hey Donny & Marie, aren’t you glad you’re not enshrined in the Canobie Lake Music Hall of Fame?

(Gerry Cronin is a Massachusetts utility company worker with a soft spot for bell bottoms and tight plaster turtlenecks.)

Young Zach re-enacts a classic advertising moment at Hersheypark.

SUBMITTED BY: Beverly West Leach   LOCATION: Hershey, Pennsylvania (1997)

Beverly’s son Zachary (then age 12) captured the spirit of the classic Coppertone Girl ad so well, that we think the suntan lotion company should sign him to a modeling contract.

Especially since the real Coppertone Girl wants to put her past behind her.

Yeah, Zach’s now 26. But the barrier for age and gender has already been broken in this advertising genre. Isn’t that right, Ernie Boch Jr.?

(Beverly West Leach is a graphic designer, artist and beekeeper from Ozark, Alabama. Watch her “girls” make honey at BevWestLeach.com)

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Taking a bite out of the giant popcorn box at Canobie Lake Park.

SUBMITTED BY: Ari Garnick   LOCATION: Salem, NH (2011)

Imagine what this box would cost at the movies, where we just shelled out $7 for a large (free refills didn’t ease the pain)!

Does Canobie Lake Park boast the World’s Largest Box of Popcorn?

We filed an official inquiry with the Popcorn Board, the industry trade association of popcorn farmers, to find out the truth.

(Ari Garnick recently bench pressed the Liberty Bell.)

**

UPDATE: Popcorn Board spokesperson Genny Bertalmio reports that the World’s Largest Box of Popcorn is (or was) at the Avenue Mall Cineplexx Theater in Osijek, Croatia on April 16, 2011. The box, created to celebrate the grand opening of the multiplex, required a construction platform to fill — with enough popcorn to blanket the parking lot.

Guinness, Shminness… We still say that Canobie Lake has the World’s Biggest Permanent Box of Popcorn until proven otherwise!

Mousejunkies cult leader Bill Burke yuks it up with a sinister Gamorrean Guard at Disney's Hollywood Studios.

SUBMITTED BY: Bill Burke   LOCATION: Lake Buena Vista, Florida (2011)

According to the Wookieepedia, the Gamorreans were “porcine humanoids from the lush jungle Outer Rim planet of Gamorr, where their technological level was equivalent to lower technology periods that human civilizations experienced more than 25,000 years before the battle of Yavin.”

The piglike militants “also colonized the planet Pzob in the K749 system and were the majority sentient species on Lanthrym in the Elrood sector.”

If either of those historical factoids from “Return of the Jedi” mean ANYTHING to you, then you probably wished you were with Bill at the grand opening of the “Star Tours” attraction last month at Disney’s Hollywood Studios in Florida.

“When my friend went to take the picture I was holding a beer,” Bill reveals. “The character shook its head, held its hand up and motioned for me to put it down. It could not be in the picture.”

“Even when the characters are supposed to be evil, they’re still very concerned about public images. I’m sure they were instructed to do this,” he adds.

Bill, aka “The Travel Guy” for the Boston Herald, also accurately notes that he is more physically menacing than this Gamorrean warrior — even without wearing an ounce of armor!

For the benefit of TTP readers who are also Star Wars geeks, the weapon in the photo is called an Arg’garok, a large axe designed for creatures with extraordinary upper body strength and a low center of gravity.

Also, take a closer look at the picture. To the left of Bill’s ear, there is a guide in a plaid vest. To the right of him, is a guy in a football jersey and black cowboy hat.  Inside sources tell us that cowboy guy is Dave Filoni, acclaimed director of “The Clone Wars.”

(Bill Burke is author of “Mousejunkies!: Tips, Tales and Tricks for a Disney World Fix.”)

Why have the stockades disappeared from Disney theme parks?

SUBMITTED BY: Stacy G.      LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (1976)

Any loving sister would want to lift you up for the full torture experience.

If only the Puritans knew that their preferred method of torture and humiliation would become a favorite amusement park photo-op centuries later.

(Tacky Tourist Photos would love to receive so-called “vintage” travel photos from your childhood, like these Disney pics or this other stockade gem from Williamsburg, Virginia. Click here for our extremely user-friendly submission process!)

UPDATE: We’re not afraid to admit when we make a mistake. We just learned from an authoritative source who returned from Disney World last week that these stockades are now in Liberty Square, near the steamboat.

The militarization of Disney World begins!

SUBMITTED BY: Ari Zackin      LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (2006)

It’s wonderful for Disney to take a pro-military stand!

Remember when we played with these Little Green Army Men as kids, tossing pebbles at their helpless platoons?

Believe it or not, these toys are now “controversial.”

Thanks for sticking up for the troops, Pixar!

(The Zackin family of Connecticut never misses a funny vacation photo-op. Ari Z. last delighted us with his camel drool shower.)