WAY COOLER THAN WHEATIES: Your childhood fantasy of being pictured on a carton of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream is just a plane ticket away!
SUBMITTED BY: Colleen Dee Baker LOCATION: Waterbury, Vermont
At the risk of not getting invited to the next radical left-wing fundraiser in Vermont, can anyone tell the difference between Ben & Jerry’s muckety-mucks Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield?
Looking for an out-of-body experience, a disgruntled Colleen stuck her head into either Ben or Jerry, leaving the other guy for her husband Bob.
Colleen is upset that her favorite ice cream flavor of all time — Ben & Jerry’s “Vanilla Chocolate Chunk” — is buried in the symbolic Flavor Graveyard outside the factory, along with other discontinued treats such as “Fresh Georgia Peach,” “Rootbeer Float My Boat,” “Sweet Potato Pie,” and “S.N.A.F.U. (Strawberries Naturally All Fudged Up).”
“Vanilla Chocolate Chunk is like chocolate chip, except the chips were huge chunks of chocolate, and the ice cream was the most creamiest ice cream I’ve ever tasted,” says Colleen. “I’m salivating just thinking about it.”
Capping off her love for the dairy industry, she also scooted over to the nearby Cabot Cheese Factory to pose as a cow, which we hope was raised without recombinant bovine growth hormone (rBGH). We don’t know your faces, Ben and Jerry, but we do read the propaganda on your cartons!
What’s most impressive is how Colleen scrunched her entire body behind this wood cut-out, reminiscent of how Wile E. Coyote hides behind those skinny trees and cactus.
- Colleen Dee Baker transmogrifies (we learned that word from a Calvin & Hobbes comic strip) into a cow in front of the Cabot Cheese Factory. We LOVE their extra sharp cheddar.
(Colleen Dee Baker is launching a zealous campaign to bring back Ben & Jerry’s Vanilla Chocolate Chunk ice cream from the grave).