Tacky Tourist Photos

If you'd like one of these classy shirts, check out the gift shop across the street from The Alamo

SUBMITTED BY: Tacky Tourist Photos    LOCATION: San Antonio, Texas (2011)

Sexual puns related to cows make us extremely squeamish.

Artist Tessa Windt gathers inspirational pictures of rainbows from all the corners of the earth. Click the rainbow to learn more about "Rainbow Sightings." (Photo credit: David Tinapple)

SUBMITTED BY: Tessa Windt    LOCATION: Somewhere in Texas (2008)

Are rainbow rays like Skittles or M & M’s?  Do the yellow and green rays taste just like the red and orange ones?

(Tessa Windt found this photo-op during a cross-country drive on Texas backroads. She is also “endlessly attracted to the undulations, mobilities and lethargies of cloth.”)

Ever see an Armadillo with Texas longhorns?

SUBMITTED BY: Brian Henderson   LOCATION: Houston, Texas (2011)

The shiny mascot of Goode’s Armadillo Palace — a local BBQ and music joint — looks sweet and innocent by day. But after nightfall, it turns evil. Be forewarned!

The eyes really glow -- this is not the "red-eye" effect from bad flash photography!

(Brian Henderson is a photojournalist with an appetite as huge as the Golden Gate Bridge.)

Perhaps a subtle monument might mark the JFK assassination site more appropriately than a cheesy flea market banner?

SUBMITTED BY: Kerry Byrne   LOCATION: Dallas, Texas (2011)

The only thing more obnoxious than this yellow police tape sign would be an Oliver Stone conspiracy movie poster. On the sidewalk where President Reagan was shot, can you imagine a day-glo banner reading “THE GIPPER WAS SHOT HERE!”

Was there a second gunman besides Lee Harvey Oswald? Were there shots fired from the notorious grassy knoll?  Should the city of Dallas now spring for some extra grass seed?

(Football analyst and history buff Kerry Byrne travels in search of the world’s best beer.)

The postcard version of the Alamo is much prettier than the real thing.

SUBMITTED BY: Tacky Tourist Photos   LOCATION: San Antonio, Texas (2011)

Tacky Tourist Photo Challenge:  Try to line up tourist attraction postcards with the actual scene!

A coy Hello Kitty greets the troops at San Antonio's famed Riverwalk shopping mall.

SUBMITTED BY: Kevin Garnick    LOCATION: San Antonio, Texas (1989)

While the rest of their Air Force unit marched to the red light district for more traditional company, Airman First Class Kevin Garnick (right) and his buddy were satisfied with the intellectual stimulation of Hello Kitty.

This photo was actually taken five weeks into basic training at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas. Rewarding “good behavior,” commanders gave trainees four hours to roam San Antonio’s Riverwalk shopping mall, where they could sip all the Slurpees that could fit in their shrunken stomachs.

As you can see by Kevin’s waistline, basic training is no vacation!

(Kevin Garnick is a financial services representative who served in the U.S. Air Force Reserves loading C-5 and C-130 cargo planes during the first Persian Gulf War, aka Operation Desert Storm. Neither he nor Hello Kitty were ever called up for combat).