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Sat
14
Aug '10

Darwinist Vacations: When Tourists Go SPLAT!!!

Sky News reports the latest fad in Spanish tourism is leaping from hotel balconies into the swimming pool.

A 20-year-old British tourist is now in a coma after attempting to jump from his hotel balcony into the pool last week while on vacation in Ibiza, Spain.

Apparently, the thrill-seeking fad of “balconing” is sweeping the Iberian peninsula.

If your vacation is so dull that you need to risk death to enjoy yourself, maybe you need to choose a different location!

Sat
12
Jun '10

Bronze Mucus: Celtics good luck charm vs the Lakers?

How do you get a t-shirt on a statue anyway?

How do you get a t-shirt on a statue anyway? (Matt Stone/Boston Herald)

Just like Spain’s strategic use of a “sorcerer” to put a hex on World Cup rival Portugal, Celtics fans believe rubbing the bronzed body of legendary coach Red Auerbach will boost their chances against the Lakers.

During the nailbiting NBA Finals, Boston fans have been flocking to the Faneuil Hall tourist trap to summon the spirit of the cigar-smoking Auerbach statue.  Talented photojournalist Matt Stone has documented the phenomenon with a Boston Herald slideshow.

Choking Red Auerbach, the coach who never choked. (Matt Stone/Boston Herald)

Choking Red Auerbach, the coach who never choked. (Matt Stone/Boston Herald)

Stone has documented the bizarre poses that Celtics fans do with Red, including make-believe strangling and pretending to pick his nose.

Any possibility of giving Hall of Fame coach Red Auerbach his dignity back?  (Matt Stone/Boston Herald)

Any possibility of giving Hall of Fame coach Red Auerbach his dignity back? (Matt Stone/Boston Herald)

Will stripping away the dignity of the Greatest Basketball Coach in History help out Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett on the court this week?

We don’t know, but we do know this: die-hard Celtics fans have been kissing Red and affectionately picking his nose for years.

Sat
10
Oct '09

Street Sweeper or Soviet Spy?

Madrid-Street-Sweeper-Statue-x

SUBMITTED BY: Laura Molta   LOCATION: Madrid, Spain (2009)

There are several deeply troubling aspects to this seemingly innocent tourist photo.

First is the cavalier attitude and body posture of the tourist: LOOK AT ME! I AM LEANING UP AGAINST AN AUTHENTIC BLUE-COLLAR WORKER!

What’s with the casual knee bend?

Second, this alleged tribute to an honest day’s work is a graffiti magnet and city authorities are apparently in no rush to clean up the defamatory scrawls.

Third, take a closer look at the graffiti — SOV SPY — perhaps code for Soviet spy?

Now, we know the Cold War is supposed to be over. But you just never know where those rascally hammer-and-sickle types hid listening devices.

Who was this street sweeper ... really?

Who was this street sweeper ... really?


(Love Iberian kitsch? Check out the rest of Tacky Tourist Spain Week!)

Fri
9
Oct '09

Be the Mannequin: Window Shopping Fantasies in Barcelona

Be the Mannequin

Be the Mannequin!

SUBMITTED BY: Laura Molta    LOCATION: Barcelona, Spain (2009)

Fashion knows no boundaries.

Not really the kind of guys to hang out at a bullfight, these tourists fantasize about owning an authentic Louis Vuitton bag.

Quite frankly, we don’t even know what an authentic Louis Vuitton bag looks like. For all we know, the tan criss-cross messenger bag might be one.

(Laura Molta, chief correspondent for Tacky Tourist Spain Week, is a prolific TV news producer and documentary filmmaker).

Thu
8
Oct '09

Matador Without The Gore: Where is Spain’s Bugs Bunny Bullfighting Tribute?

According to legend, giving the matador a backrub will bring you good luck!

According to legend, giving the matador a backrub will bring you good luck!

SUBMITTED BY: Laura Molta   LOCATION: Madrid, Spain (2009)

Tourists in Madrid can now pose with this rather unimposing generic matador.

We’d be more impressed if city officials paid tribute to the Greatest Bullfighter of All Time.

Bugs Bunny.

Wed
7
Oct '09

Beware of the Gaudy Gaudi Dragon

The Gaudi Dragon loves American women.

ENVELOPED BY ART: The Gaudi Dragon loves American women.

SUBMITTED BY: Betsy Hoffman   LOCATION: Barcelona, Spain (2009)

Looks like a flamboyant gekko, but this costumed character is actually a touchy-feely dragon.

It’s the Gaudi Dragon, Spanish architect Antoni Gaudi’s iconic mosiac fountain in Barcelona’s whimsical Parc Guell.

According to Wikipedia, British author George Orwell reportedly hated Gaudi’s work — and what motivation could anyone possibly have to make something like that up?

On Barcelona’s main drag, the festive Las Ramblas, Betsy paid one Euro for the honor of being smothered by this gaudy mascot. The fee included the complimentary use of the matching Gaudi hat.

(Betsy Hoffman, who works in the clothing industry, is thinking about launching her own fashion line of flamboyant hats).

In honor of Tacky Tourist Spain Week, meet Madrid’s knockoff Winnie the Pooh and his significant other, Spiderman.

Tue
6
Oct '09

Spain Week: Winnie the Knockoff Pooh

Winnie the WHAT?

Winnie the WHAT?

SUBMITTED BY: Laura Molta   LOCATION: Madrid, Spain (2009)

The tentacles of the Disney legal department infamously have no boundaries, so it was shocking to see this rogue Winnie the Pooh operating so brazenly in the open.

We respect the rights of mascots to have oxygen, but the extremely large eye holes (filled with emptiness) make this bear look like a soulless zombie.

But we’re more enthralled with the pathetic branding. If you’re gonna steal a character, why not just own up to it?  Just keep the “H.”

Laura’s impressions are almost like haiku:

Poo… the don’t sue me version of Pooh?
Poo… the Spanish spelling of Pooh?
Poo… wait, that’s not how you spell it?

Beavis and Butthead fans throughout the Iberian peninsula are cackling right now: “Heh, heh, heh, Winnie the POO.. Heh. Heh. POO, it says POO! Heh. Hehe.”

Even more fodder for the mascot gossip columnists: It appears that Poo is involved in an intimate relationship with Madrid’s purse-carrying Spiderman!

Finishing Up The Act: Pooh helps Spidey with his zipper.

Finishing Up The Act: Pooh helps Spidey with his zipper.

(Laura Molta, who once ran into Natalie Portman in the Costa Rican rainforest, is a prolific TV producer and documentary filmmaker.)