Tacky Tourist Photos

Michael Graham channels Michael Dukakis

SUBMITTED BY: Michael Graham   SECRET LOCATION: Somewhere in Israel (2004)

We know it’s the wrong country. We know he lacks a cute little helmet with his name printed on it. But whenever a conservative talk show host poses with a tank, he’s thinking about 1988 Democratic presidential candidate Michael Dukakis:

Did a Tacky Tourist Photo cost Mike Dukakis the 1988 election?

(Michael Graham is “Boston’s maestro of conservative controversies” for WTKK 96.9 FM)

Find out why some Israeli soldiers “fight like a girl.”

SUBMITTED BY: Ari G. and Andrew H.     LOCATION: Masada, Israel (2018)

What inspires one teenage boy only slightly taller than another to try to recreate the Pride Rock “baby announcement scene” from “The Lion King?”

Perhaps it’s a lack of any back problems.

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The Tourist Invasion

SUBMITTED BY: Ellie and Michael Mirman   LOCATION: Tel Arshaf (Tel Aviv), Israel (2012)

Tourist sites are equally guilty of romanticizing the Vikings, but these Crusaders seem more likely to want to swap recipes than slit your throats!

For the benefit of our Tacky Tourist history buffs, here’s the scoop on the Crusader fort just outside Tel Aviv: (more…)

Save money on life rafts and inner tubes: Relax in the Dead Sea!

SUBMITTED BY: Ari Zackin   LOCATION: Dead Sea, Israel (2010)

How much actual reading gets done in the Dead Sea is unknown, but posing with a magazine or newspaper to “prove” it won’t get wet is a classic Israeli (and Jordanian) photo-op!

(Ari Zackin will do anything to model for Tacky Tourist Photos, even take a shower in camel drool).

Witty irony at the Medieval fairgrounds

SUBMITTED BY: Ari Zackin    LOCATION: Hebron, Connecticut (2010)

Hey, the Pilgrims didn’t have a monopoly on public humiliation. The Europeans were huge fans of exploiting shame, too.

Between the squeezed rib cages of women in corsets and the sore necks of suckers posing for this photo-op, the Renaissance Faire is a perpetual goldmine for chiropractors.

(Ari Zackin recently bathed in camel drool for a TTP modeling shoot in Israel.)

Cheesy graphics and slogans aside, this souvenir t-shirt captured genuine joy after a month of wearing a gas mask.

SUBMITTED BY: Jonathan Willis   LOCATION: Jerusalem, Israel (1991)

Compared to the nutcakes running the Middle East today, there’s something almost cute about having Saddam as your enemy.

(Jonathan Willis is a high school English teacher who loves promoting literacy and Greek mythology-themed water ballet.)

Sushi the camel is an irresistible tourist photo-op on the outskirts of Jerusalem

SUBMITTED BY: Mark Z. LOCATION: Israel (2010)

What do Israel and Uganda have in common?

Both have slyly transformed invisible geographical concepts into tourist attractions. For Israel to brag about the Dead Sea being the “Lowest Place on Earth” (1378 feet below Sea Level), it set up Sea Level markers for comparison.

You can see how Uganda (and many other countries) cash in on the Equator here.

For the record, Sushi is the same camel who offers tourists a complimentary drool shampoo.

Fish pedicures? Bird Dropping Facials? Why not a Camel Saliva Shampoo?

SUBMITTED BY: Ari Zackin    LOCATION: Somewhere in Israel (2010)

Eeeeeewwwwwww!  This photo goes out to all those animal lovers who kiss their dogs.

Who knows where this camel’s mouth has been?

Take a closer look at the drippage:

(Ari Zackin is a frequent contributor to Tacky Tourist Photos, most recently serving up an unprecedented Spider-Man pose.)

Post-Biblical Comedy in Ein Gedi, Israel

SUBMITTED BY: Marcia Greene   LOCATION: Ein Gedi National Park, Israel (2010)

King David hung out in the caves at this Judean Desert oasis.  The Moabites and Ammonites were fans of its waterfalls. And the nature reserve also gets a plug in King Solomon’s “Song of Songs.”

But for Marcia’s friend Adi, the freshwater seaweed makes it the perfect place to channel the spirit of Groucho Marx.

Could Groucho become the new postergirl for Israeli tourism?

MYSTERY PHOTO-OP -- Do you know where the Resnicks snapped these photos?

SUBMITTED BY: Rebecca & Steven Resnick     LOCATION: Israel (2008)

Their family vacation was only a year ago, but Rebecca and her brother Steven can’t remember exactly where they took these precious “Hole-in-the-Head” shots of Moses and a Crusader.

“We know it was somewhere in northern Israel, possibly in the Golan Heights area, but disagree on whether it was a historic site or just a rest stop,” Rebecca says. “Basically we both remember stopping for water, a packaged ice cream sandwich, watching a bad movie about something having to do with Moses, and then getting back in the car.”

“Fortunately, there were other parts of the trip that left a more lasting impression,” she adds.

Well, we’re intrigued.  Anyone out there know which historical rest stop shows B-movies about Moses AND sells ice cream sandwiches?

(Rebecca Resnick is a writer and freelance television producer who has worked on shows for Animal Planet, the Travel Channel and the Science Channel. She usually stays behind the scenes — except when it comes to faceless cardboard cutouts, which she finds irresistible.)

Radio talk show host Michael Graham towers over Israeli soldiers.

SUBMITTED BY: Michael Graham   SECRET LOCATION: Somewhere in Israel (2004)

These Israeli troops are not the same ones featured in Maxim Magazine’s infamous “World’s Sexiest Soldiers” bikini photo spread. But the question remains: Are there any other militaries which rival the Israel Defense Forces in popularity as tourist props?

Michael was in Israel to audition for the off-off-off-Broadway IDF musical, “David and Goliath.”

(Michael Graham is “Boston’s maestro of conservative controversies” for WTKK 96.9 FM)

Bonus link for political junkies… “Tanks for the Memories: Channeling Michael Dukakis in Israel”

Comedian Eugene Mirman puts a fresh new spin on a vintage Tacky Tourist Photo

SUBMITTED BY: Eugene Mirman        LOCATION: Beersheva, Israel (2007)

The curators of the Israeli Air Force Museum were probably hoping visitors would be awestruck by F-16 fighter jets and want to watch the Hebrew DVD of “Top Gun.”

Or perhaps visitors would want the inside scoop about the Raid on Entebbe, a daring commando operation in which Bad News Bears manager Jack Warden rescued 102 hostages being held by a cannibal, Ugandan dictator Idi Amin.

Instead, comedian Eugene Mirman traveled 6,000 miles to mock an antique Tacky Tourist Photo and give it a fresh new spin.

Not satisfied with one visual gag, he recruited brother Ilya to take his art to a whole new level.

Word is that the Mirman brothers have been pre-emptively banned from the Louvre!

(Eugene Mirman is the funniest comedian to come from Russia since, well, Yakov Smirnoff. His new book, The Will to Whatevs, offers advice on life, friendship and romance.)