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Tacky Tourist Photos

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Mon
16
Jun '14

Do You Wanna Be the Thief or the Drunkard?

London's Warwick Castle Shows Off Its Judgmental Side

SUBMITTED BY: The Cole Family of Colorado     LOCATION: London, England (2014)

It’s not truly a family vacation until you’ve been publicly humiliated, right?

Stockades are a staple photo-op of historical theme parks, whether it be commemorating the sadistic Pilgrims at Plimoth Plantation or even the Disney version of Revolutionary War America.

But England’s Warwick Castle takes public shaming to the next level, labeling willing tourists as drunks and thieves — and even casting a moral judgment on which crime deserves more discomfort. Perhaps the drunkard is forced on his knees to facilitate vomiting?

Note: The plastic bag wrapping is NOT forced upon all pretend drunkards. It’s actually a tourist rain poncho.

(The Cole Family is Colorado’s most prolific group of contributors to Tacky Tourist Photos, previously responsible for classics such as “Regurgitated Waterfall,” and “Field of Dreams.”)

 

Sun
6
Jan '13

Germ-Free Kiss With David Beckham

Getting close to Mr. Posh Spice, but not too close. (Double click for more info)

SUBMITTED BY: Lillie Marshall   LOCATION: London, England (2013)

Lillie’s smitten by David Beckham’s mannequin alter-ego at London’s Heathrow Airport. But logic wins out over lust as she keeps a “hygienic half-foot distance from the already-slobbered-on” British soccer star.

Besides imaginary romance (or “adultery” since her hubby was in plain view), check out Lillie’s other Best Things to Do on a Long Layover in London.

(Lillie Marshall is a Boston school teacher and prolific travel blogger who previously posed with menacing aliens and man-eating tigers for Tacky Tourist Photos).

Thu
9
Aug '12

Olympic Swagger

Young visitors at Heathrow Airport strike a victory pose with a wax statue of Jamaican gold medalist sprinter Usain Bolt. (Source: London Olympics Press Office)

SUBMITTED BY: Tacky Tourist Photos   LOCATION: London, England (2012)

So maybe you can’t also be the Fastest Man on Earth, but you certainly can mimic his Greek mythology victory pose!

Wed
21
Mar '12

Bear With Me…

Were you expecting a docile UCLA Bruin?

SUBMITTED BY: Ben Cole   LOCATION: Los Angeles, California (2012)

Since 1984, UCLA athletes have won more gold medals at the Olympic Games than all but four countries.

And this Bruins mascot has bitten more tourists than all other bear statues in America combined.

We made up that last statistic, but the Olympics thing is true.

Kudos to Ben for his improvisational acting skills!

(Ben Cole is a transplanted New England sports fan living in Colorado).

Thu
1
Dec '11

Save the Date (Dec. 7) — Come enjoy Tewksbury Tacky Tourist Night!

The Tewksbury Public Library does not attract as many visitors as the Leaning Tower of Pisa, but it nonetheless offers memories of a lifetime!

Sorry to go all regional on you, but if you happen to live in New England (or are vacationing there), come on out and meet the Tacky Tourist founders, curators, and administrative staff!

TEWKSBURY TACKY TOURIST PHOTOS NIGHT
6:30 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 7
Tewksbury Public Library
300 Chandler Street
Tewksbury, MA 01876
978-640-4490

Join founding curator Darren Garnick as he guides you through the Do’s and Don’ts of silly travel photography and offers exclusive tips for the best vacation photo-ops within reasonable driving distance of Tewksbury. The presentation will kick off a month-long gallery exhibition of some of the world’s Tackiest snapshots.

Visitors are encouraged to bring contributions from their childhood vacation albums and their latest creative cell phone pics for group discussion and possible inclusion in an offbeat coffee table book.

Bring your cameras for bonus “Tacky Tourist” photo-ops throughout the evening.  Can’t make it?  No worries: Check out our Submission Guidelines and be there in spirit!

This event is held in the Meeting Room.  Doors open at 6:15pm.  Talks begin at 6:30pm.  The room is handicap accessible.  Light refreshments will be provided.  A door prize will be awarded.  Pre-registration is strongly recommended.  Register by stopping by the Reference Desk; calling 978-640-4490 ext. 205; or by clicking “register” below.  Talk is FREE thanks to the generosity of the Friends of the Tewksbury Public Library.

Mon
1
Aug '11

Smooching the Sphinx: Dry Lips?

Hooking up with a REALLY old boyfriend...

SUBMITTED BY: Dana Prey   LOCATION: Cairo, Egypt (2009)

Wanna recreate the sensation of getting sensual with the Sphinx?  Go kiss a bucket of sand!

(Dana Prey is a bacon-loving Southern belle living in New England, who documents her competitive cycling addiction on her “Wall of Pain.”)

CURATOR’S PICK — Do you LOVE photographing ancient cultures with a tacky flair? Check out Emily’s classic Egyptian Cheerleader pose at the Great Pyramids.

Thu
3
Dec '09

Can’t afford to SEE the Mona Lisa? Then BE the Mona Lisa!

One of the curators of Tacky Tourist Photos bravely poses as the Poutiest Mona Lisa of All Time!

One of the curators of Tacky Tourist Photos bravely poses as the Poutiest Mona Lisa of All Time!

NASHUA, NH — To raise money for the Nashua Soup Kitchen, the curators of TackyTouristPhotos.com will stage a daring and ambitious piece of performance art called “Be the Mona Lisa” at the Floating Art Gallery on Sunday, Dec. 6.

Visitors will substitute their heads for the famous smiling lady immortalized by Leonardo da Vinci. Yes, this is the same Mona Lisa that survived a brutal coffee mug attack at the Louvre.  Why wait in those long lines in Paris, when you can zip up Route 3 North and scoot over to the Courtyard Marriott?  The excitement lasts from 6-9 p.m. and includes live music and a cash bar.

Tacky Tourist Photos will join more than a dozen artists, painters, photographers and sculptors at the charity benefit, at which a portion of sales will help one of the following causes: The Healthy NH Foundation; Big Brothers, Big Sisters of Greater Manchester; the Nashua Humane Society; St. Jude Children’s Hospital; Children’s International; Nashua Area Artist’s Association; Nashua Soup Kitchen; New England Aquarium; Animal Rescue League of NH; and the ASPCA.

Equally significant will be the culinary experience of enjoying complimentary Tacky Appetizers, which are rumored to involve delicately sliced Hostess and Little Debbie treats.

For more information, visit the Floating Gallery.

And doesn’t Pete just make the cutest Mona Lisa?

Sun
23
Aug '09

Squished like a Beatle: The most dangerous tourist photo-op EVER

An endless stream of tourists re-enact the famous crosswalk pose on the Beatles' last album cover -- Abbey Road. Few of the re-enactors bother to have one of the four walk barefoot, a la Paul McCartney.

An endless stream of tourists re-enact the famous crosswalk pose on the Beatles' last album cover -- Abbey Road. Few of the re-enactors bother to make sure one of them is barefoot, like Paul McCartney back in 1969.

SUBMITTED BY: Pete Kilroy LOCATION: North London, England

And people make fun of Trekkies?

You won’t find a more obsessed group than Beatles fans, who 40 years after the release of their last album, Abbey Road, still flock to the site of the original album cover.

Naturally, telling them it’s just a frickin’ crosswalk (or “Zebra crossing,” as the Brits say) won’t dampen their enthusiasm.

The Australian rock band “Blame Ringo” recently set up a time lapse camera at the crosswalk for the music video for their catchy debut single, “Garble Arch: A Day in the Life of Abbey Road.

“The video was shot over three hours on a regular Tuesday afternoon. Just three hours!” says lead singer Pete Kilroy. “I have no idea how many people get hit at that crossing every year, but you’d have to think that going by the near misses (in our video), there would have to be a few.”

If you want to monitor tourist behavior 24/7 at the Abbey Road crosswalk, there is, of course, an Abbey Road Crosswalk Webcam.

(Pete Kilroy is the lead singer of Blame Ringo).

Tue
18
Aug '09

Thank God for politically incorrect zoos

Thank God for politically incorrect zoos -- especially in PC Massachusetts. The Southwick Zoo in Mendon has no problems portraying boa constrictors as the societal menaces that they are.

Thank God for politically incorrect zoos -- especially in ultra-PC Massachusetts. The Southwick Zoo in Mendon has no problems portraying boa constrictors as the societal menaces and sociopaths that they are. But what's with the sadistic chimpanzee in the birthday party hat?

SUBMITTED BY: Paul Garnick   LOCATION: Mendon, Massachusetts (2009)

Massachusetts is a place where animals at state-funded zoos were recently threatened to be put on Death Row because of budget cuts.

It is also a place where gorillas throw their dung at elected officials.

With those two irrelevant Bay State zoo facts out of the way, let us say what a delight it is to come across this politically incorrect photo-op of a boa constrictor crushing children to death.

Cousins Ari (left) and Kaden have drastically different approaches to method acting, but the important thing is this: The Southwick Zoo deems it appropriate to recognize that boa constrictors are NOT nice animals.

A few miles north, the New England Aquarium bends over backwards to preach that sharks are misunderstood creatures and that if only we understood their childhoods, we would accept their predilection for devouring human flesh.

Let this zoo photo-op serve as a lesson to children everywhere: Don’t ever go in the rainforest without a huge hunting knife!

(Paul Garnick, who is addicted to photographing his grandchildren, used to love taking his kids to the now-defunct Benson’s Wild Animal Farm in Hudson, NH).