SUBMITTED BY: Daryl Morey LOCATION: Shanghai, China (2011)
Our sources have spotted Daryl Morey, general manager of the Houston Rockets, meeting with a giant inflatable rabbit and his alien friend in the Chinese countryside. Given that our source is Daryl Morey, we believe that the reports are accurate.
The creepy bunny with facial hair greets visitors at the 2011 World Aquatics Championships in Shanghai. Turns out that the rabbit is superfluous to the games — the actual mascot is dangling from his arm. Jing Jing, a pair of swimming goggles come alive, is skilled at diving, water polo and synchronized swimming, but is getting nasty reviews from graphic design and marketing experts.
Could Morey be secretly recruiting new mascots overseas? Doubtful. He was in China to pay tribute to retiring Rockets legend Yao Ming. And current fan favorite “Clutch the Rockets Bear,” a member of the Mascot Hall of Fame, remains as popular as ever.
Lest there be any doubts about Clutch’s immediate future, he is scheduled to be the keynote speaker at Clutch’s Fantasy Mascot Camp next weekend AND is still booking gigs for corporate meetings, high school basketball games and middle school pep rallies.
The soulless rabbit (or bodyless goggles) pose no threat to him.
(Daryl Morey is the general manager of the Houston Rockets and boss of Clutch the Bear, whom you can friend on Facebook.)
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