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May '11

Prohibition on the Planet Gamorr

Mousejunkies cult leader Bill Burke yuks it up with a sinister Gamorrean Guard at Disney's Hollywood Studios.

SUBMITTED BY: Bill Burke   LOCATION: Lake Buena Vista, Florida (2011)

According to the Wookieepedia, the Gamorreans were “porcine humanoids from the lush jungle Outer Rim planet of Gamorr, where their technological level was equivalent to lower technology periods that human civilizations experienced more than 25,000 years before the battle of Yavin.”

The piglike militants “also colonized the planet Pzob in the K749 system and were the majority sentient species on Lanthrym in the Elrood sector.”

If either of those historical factoids from “Return of the Jedi” mean ANYTHING to you, then you probably wished you were with Bill at the grand opening of the “Star Tours” attraction last month at Disney’s Hollywood Studios in Florida.

“When my friend went to take the picture I was holding a beer,” Bill reveals. “The character shook its head, held its hand up and motioned for me to put it down. It could not be in the picture.”

“Even when the characters are supposed to be evil, they’re still very concerned about public images. I’m sure they were instructed to do this,” he adds.

Bill, aka “The Travel Guy” for the Boston Herald, also accurately notes that he is more physically menacing than this Gamorrean warrior — even without wearing an ounce of armor!

For the benefit of TTP readers who are also Star Wars geeks, the weapon in the photo is called an Arg’garok, a large axe designed for creatures with extraordinary upper body strength and a low center of gravity.

Also, take a closer look at the picture. To the left of Bill’s ear, there is a guide in a plaid vest. To the right of him, is a guy in a football jersey and black cowboy hat.  Inside sources tell us that cowboy guy is Dave Filoni, acclaimed director of “The Clone Wars.”

(Bill Burke is author of “Mousejunkies!: Tips, Tales and Tricks for a Disney World Fix.”)

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