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Tacky Tourist Photos

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Sun
27
Jul '14

This Preying Mantis Must Be a Yankees or Orioles Fan

Insects Take Over Las Vegas: Humans Surrender Quickly! (Photo by Ilya Mirman)

SUBMITTED BY: Darren Garnick   LOCATION: Downtown Container Park, Las Vegas (2014)

Angered by the juvenile petty behavior of David Price, this Mantis took out his rage on the first Tampa Bay Rays fan he could find.

(Darren Garnick is co-founding curator of Tacky Tourist Photos.)

Mon
14
Jul '14

Weird Al Yankovic Embraces Tacky Tourists (Kind of)

Look who’s now flying the Tacky Pride flag: “Weird Al” Yankovic along with Eric Stonestreet, Jack Black, Kristen Schaal, Margaret Cho and Aisha Tyler!

See for yourself:

Sun
29
Jun '14

Gone With The Empathy: Why is Scarlett Smiling?

"Gone With The Wind" co-starring Noelle Boc and Clark Gable.

SUBMITTED BY: Noelle Boc  LOCATION: Universal Studios, California (1985)

It’s tough to line up your face in one of those hole-in-the-head photoboards. You have to make sure there’s not too much hair dangling through the hole, especially in cases when the color doesn’t match. You have to tilt your head at the perfect angle and stick out of the board enough to be visible and minimize shadows.  Lastly, eye contact with the other character is critical.

With all these things to consider in a 5-second photo-op, we forgive Noelle/Scarlett for reflexively smiling while Atlanta burns to the ground.

P.S. This snapshot is 29 years old. Does anyone know if Universal Studios still has this “Gone With The Wind” photoboard?

(Noelle Boc is active in the tattooed librarian movement and likes to kiss fish.)

Mon
16
Jun '14

Do You Wanna Be the Thief or the Drunkard?

London's Warwick Castle Shows Off Its Judgmental Side

SUBMITTED BY: The Cole Family of Colorado     LOCATION: London, England (2014)

It’s not truly a family vacation until you’ve been publicly humiliated, right?

Stockades are a staple photo-op of historical theme parks, whether it be commemorating the sadistic Pilgrims at Plimoth Plantation or even the Disney version of Revolutionary War America.

But England’s Warwick Castle takes public shaming to the next level, labeling willing tourists as drunks and thieves — and even casting a moral judgment on which crime deserves more discomfort. Perhaps the drunkard is forced on his knees to facilitate vomiting?

Note: The plastic bag wrapping is NOT forced upon all pretend drunkards. It’s actually a tourist rain poncho.

(The Cole Family is Colorado’s most prolific group of contributors to Tacky Tourist Photos, previously responsible for classics such as “Regurgitated Waterfall,” and “Field of Dreams.”)

 

Sun
25
May '14

You’d Have to be NUTS Not to Love This Photo

Perry's Nut House in Belfast, Maine

SUBMITTED BY: Barrie and Ilya Mirman   LOCATION: Belfast, Maine (2014)

This nutcracker looks like a lobster, from the hue to the anatomy of the tail and claws. It even looks like the artist ran out of paint.

But this “Head in the Hole” sign board photo-op at Perry’s Nut House gets an A+ for concept.

You know who else earns an A+?

Tacky Tourist Photos co-founder Ilya Mirman for his heartfelt character acting.

(When he is not eating cashews, photographer Ilya Mirman likes to crash Vietnamese weddings.)

Sat
8
Mar '14

Art Gallery Romance

Unrequited Love at the Four Seasons Maui

SUBMITTED BY: Ilya Mirman  LOCATION: Maui, Hawaii (2014)

One guest rule sorely missing from the Four Seasons Resort in Maui: Don’t leave saliva on the artwork.

Sucking face with statues is a Tacky Tourist Tradition, whether it be the kissing the dry lips of the Egyptian Sphinx or puckering up with a common Boston Harbor fish.

Here’s a better perspective on the real size of the Four Seasons mascot:

Close Up

(Ilya Mirman is a rock concert photographer and the co-founder of Tacky Tourist Photos.)

 

Wed
29
Jan '14

Counterfeit Elmo

Why are Sesame Street characters roaming the streets of New York at 10 p.m.?

SUBMITTED BY: Mike and Denise Reiss    LOCATION: Times Square, New York

We don’t know what time this picture was really taken, but it is a bit odd that Elmo works the night shift after most kids have gone to bed.

“At any one time there are four Elmos working Times Square,” Mike says.  “People are beginning to miss the crack dealers!”

Our sources indicate that the Muppet in this photo is not the creepy “Anti-Semitic Elmo” who has horrified tourists and is now in prison for trying to extort money from the Girl Scouts.

(Comedian Mike Reiss has been a writer/producer for “The Simpsons” and was co-creator of  “The Critic.”)

Wed
4
Dec '13

Squirrel! (Who Says Disney is Just For Kids?)

Hamming it "UP" with Dug at Disney's Animal Kingdom.

SUBMITTED BY: Daryl Morey  LOCATION: Orlando, Florida (2013)

The #1 Dad Responsibility? Act like a goofball for your kids.

“Dug,” the Talking Dog from the Disney/Pixar film “UP,” eagerly recreates his Squirrel pose thousands of times a day.

It’s a role that Daryl can’t resist!

(Daryl Morey is our top Tacky Tourist Photos correspondent from Houston. He previously discovered the Rabbit With the Most Facial Hair in Shanghai, China.)

Thu
31
Oct '13

How to Prove Your Love For The Red Sox

Wally the Green Monster

SUBMITTED BY: Alexandra Pecci   LOCATION: Fenway Park, Boston, Massachusetts (2013)

On the morning after their World Series triumph, we understand the impulse to show the Red Sox mascot a healthy dose of affection.

But getting frisky with the statue of the mascot?  That’s diehard!

(Alex Pecci is a freelance writer and cooking enthusiast based in New Hampshire. Follow her exploits at her “Burning Down My Kitchen” blog.)

Sat
19
Oct '13

Welcome to Detroit

Great sportswriters aren't afraid to take a hit every now and then.

SUBMITTED BY: Steve Buckley and Lindsay Berra  LOCATION: Detroit, Michigan (2013)

Boston greets you with its cute little ducklings. Philadelphia has a giant clothespin and the LOVE sculpture. Minneapolis is proud of their giant spoon.

Detroit?  Well, Detroit wants to punch you in the face.

Exploring the Motor City before the Red Sox-Tigers playoff game, Steve and Lindsay decided to get intimate with boxing legend Joe Louis’ knuckles.

Lindsay thinks Joe’s fists are amusing.  In 1938, German heavyweight champion Max Schmeling wasn’t laughing.

All Smiles: Lindsay shows why boxing is sometimes called the "Sweet Science."

(Steve Buckley is a sports columnist for the Boston Herald and co-author of “The Best Boston Sports Arguments: The 100 Most Controversial, Debatable Questions For Die-Hard Boston Fans,” which might be the longest titled book ever. Follow him on Twitter @BuckinBoston)

Sun
25
Aug '13

Isn’t Time That Disney Invest in a Garlic Princess?

Gil and Roy, the Garlic mascots at California's Gilroy Gardens (Photo courtesy of Peter Hartlaub)

SUBMITTED BY: Peter Hartlaub   LOCATION: Gilroy, California (2013)

Mascots Gil and Roy (on right) are brother and sister cloves.  Roy is actually named Royelle and supposed to be a “little bit princess, little bit tomboy.”

Gilroy Gardens is California’s only horticulture-themed amusement park, as Disney and Universal foolishly opted not to invest heavily in garlic characters or storylines. Imagine the possibilities if they did…

(Peter Hartlaub is the pop culture critic for the San Francisco Chronicle).

Wed
24
Jul '13

How Boys Play With Rainbows

On the Canadian side of Niagara Falls, it's rare NOT to see a rainbow at every turn.

SUBMITTED BY: Kurtis and Kaden Garnick   LOCATION: Niagara Falls – Ontario, Canada (2013)

Show a girl a rainbow and her imagination will start generating unicorns and Care Bears.

Show a boy a rainbow, and he’ll try to squeeze the life out of it or karate chop it in half.

 

Never Make Eye Contact With The Rainbow: Young Kaden tries to sever his rainbow with a sideglance karate chop on the legendary Maid of the Mist boat ride.

(Check out other refracted light hilarity on Tacky Tourist Photos, such as “Rainbow Taffy.”)

Fri
12
Jul '13

The Most Excited British Tourist in America

The Phone Booth Workout: Try the exercise craze that is sweeping the country! (Click to Enlarge)

SUBMITTED BY: Danny Bent   LOCATION: Route 66, Northern Arizona (2013)

Phone booths are a rare sight indeed these days, let alone foreign ones on American soil. So you’ll have to forgive the enthusiasm of backflippin’ Danny Bent, who did a one-handed handstand when he saw a vandalized booth from his homeland.

This is not a camera trick. Not Photoshop. And not a special booth with hidden handles or hooks for your feet.

Danny, an endurance athlete from Britain, does these kinds of poses all the time in his CrossFit classes. Adding the “pretend phone” hand gesture is classic improvisation.

(Triathlete Danny Bent, author of “You’ve Gone Too Far This Time, Sir,” just crossed America in his Stinkmobile as part of the One Run For Boston charity team.)

Mon
8
Jul '13

Cappuccino Cowboy

What's the World Rodeo Record for Steadiest Cup of Coffee?

SUBMITTED BY: Jamie Thompson    LOCATION: Boston, Massachusetts (2013)

Remember that Driver’s Ed test where the instructor would balance a cup of coffee on the dashboard and if it spilled, you’d fail your exam?

Well, try clinging to a wild bronco (well, a stationary donkey) without spilling your Starbucks!

(Jamie Thompson is the co-founder and CEO of Pongr, a computer vision technology company that turns brand logos and packaging into direct response advertising.)

Thu
13
Jun '13

World’s Tallest Party Hat

I love party hat architecture THIS MUCH! (The 200-foot prayer tower was built in 1966).

SUBMITTED BY: Jeff Palmucci   LOCATION: Tulsa, Oklahoma (2013)

What kind of party can you throw for $8 million?  One where you can afford to build a few more giant party hats, a.k.a. The Oral Roberts University Prayer Tower — but also a party without food.

In March 1987, TV evangelist Oral Roberts told his followers that he was climbing to the top of the prayer tower for a hunger strike. God had told him that if he did not raise $8 million by the end of the month, he would be “called home.”

That’s correct: The subtle fundraising pitch was “Send me money now or I’ll soon be dead.”

Can you imagine NPR or your college alumni fund’s telemarketers trying the same tactic?

But Oral got his money and Route 66 road trippers still get to enjoy one of the country’s most spiritual photo-ops.

The Most Fashionable Hat in the Midwest.

If you really want to channel televangelist culture, Oral Roberts University is also home to the World’s Largest Praying Hands.  Of course, you can depend on Tacky Tourist Photos to give you the full scoop. Stay tuned!

(Tacky Tourist Photos contributor Jeff Palmucci is a music photographer based in Massachusetts.)